let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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