It's Friday. Sex?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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