She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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