I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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