Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
