Screwed.edu
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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