I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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