How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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