It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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