so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
