"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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