Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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