Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
