so let's talk penis.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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