took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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