I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
