so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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