I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
