haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
