WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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