I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
