grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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