How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
