Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So many bounce houses so little time
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
