love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
