Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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