I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
