Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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