Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
