Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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