Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
