Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
