Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
