just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
