I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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