Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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