yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
