she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
