her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
smell my finger.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
