if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
