I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
