She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
