You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
it's great music for shaving your balls
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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