he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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