We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
