Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
