I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
