You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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