so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
