does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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