very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
