I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she told me i tasted like america
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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